


The Milkovich Sessions

by LadyEkaterina



Series: Friendship [3]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Canon Compliant, Counselling, Feelings, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Short, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-05-31 03:04:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19417171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyEkaterina/pseuds/LadyEkaterina
Summary: Trevor gets to know Mickeys history. Mickey finally gets to tell someone the whole story.





	1. Session 1

Trevor was a little nervous as he took his seat in the visiting room. He hadn’t been back for a couple of months but he wanted to ask Mickey a favour and that was always nerve racking.  
He saw Mickey enter the room. Trevor was shocked. The young man’s face was swollen and bruised and he walked with a slight limp. His face still held the mask of rage against the world that Mickey wore so well.  
Mickey approached the table and bent down.  
“Is Ian all right?”  
“Yeah. He’s fine Mickey. I wanted to talk to you.”  
Mickey sat down.  
“Ian knows you’re here?”  
“Yeah I’m not doing that again.”  
Mickey smiled, then winced as his split lip threatened to tear.  
“I heard about that.”  
“Yeah. Mickey, what the fuck happened?”  
Mickey sighed.  
“If I tell you, will you tell Ian?”  
“I don’t have to. But I will have to tell him you’ve been beaten up.”  
Mickey nodded.  
“Fair enough. What happened was my dad sent some friends to say hi.”  
Trevor remembered what Lip had said about Mickey’s dad.  
“Fuck, Mickey.”  
“Yeah well dad hates fags”  
“Right... um...”  
“What is it Trevor?”  
“OK. Don’t react straight away. Just think about it.”  
“Fucking hell, Trevor, What the fuck is it?”  
“Would you consider counselling?”  
“What?”  
“Counselling. With uh me.”  
Mickey was about to tell Trevor to go fuck himself when he stopped himself. Ian had been on about him getting some sort of counselling for ages. And if it was here with Trevor, well at least he could keep an eye on Ian and who knows it might even help.  
“Why?”  
Yeah, Trevor was expecting this. He decided to go with the truth.  
“Because I’m only recently qualified and I need the experience.”  
“And what I tell you, you wouldn’t tell Ian?”  
“No it’d be confidential”  
Mickey looked into Trevor’s eyes for a long minute.  
“All right.”  
Trevor nodded  
“All right.”  
“Where do I start?”  
“Looking at your face, why don’t we start with your dad.”  
“Christ.”

Trevor listened as Mickey talked about his violent father, about the regular beatings that only got worse after his mother died. About going to school covered in scars and bruises, but the teachers were too scared of Terry to even try and help. He talked about protecting himself from the torment of school children because he often didn’t have any lunch or was wearing dirty clothes. Of becoming a bully more to protect himself from feeling anything. He talked about stealing and scams in a desperate attempt to get his fathers approval which never materialised. And suddenly his eyes softened and he said.  
“And then came Ian.”  
Ian who saw past the bully exterior and the unwashed boy to the something Mickey was underneath. Ian, who made Mickey laugh and feel free for the first time. Ian, who came to get a gun back and they ended up having sex. Ian. And with Ian suddenly came Mickey’s biggest fear. That his father would find out and would take away the one thing Mickey had started to care about. So he was deliberately cold and aloof, pretending to Ian that he meant nothing.  
“And then dad and my brothers were going hunting. I invited Ian round, like a proper couple.” He smiled sadly.  
“Dad came home early.”  
Trevor found he was terrified for the two boys in Mickey’s story.  
“What happened, Mickey?”  
“Dad went ballistic. Beat me nearly into unconsciousness. Ian tried to help but dad gave him a good going over too. Then he pulled a gun on us. We were sat there, naked, and all I could think about was how I was going to make sure Ian got out of there alive.”  
Trevor shook his head “Christ”  
“Yeah. Well, dad called in a favour. A whore, Svetlana. She came and had sex with me. To “fuck the faggot out of me”. I was pretty out of it but yeah that happened. Dad made Ian watch. Threatened to kill him. He was a sadistic bastard. That’s when it came to me. The only thing I could do to save Ian was to show dad that Ian meant nothing to me.”  
“You were raped.”  
Trevor’s voice was flat with horror.  
Mickey shrugged.  
“Whatever. Dad thought he’d won. I had to stay away from Ian and then he’d be safe.”  
“But you couldn’t.”  
“He came looking for me. Turned out Svetlana got pregnant. And I was to marry her. Ian found out, probably from my sister.”  
“Married? To the prostitute? Who raped you? Why?”  
“Yeah. You swear Ian won’t find out about this?”  
“Confidentiality. Promise”  
“Ok well dad had said he would kill Ian if I didn’t. I had to be straight, have a wife, a child. Just couldn’t risk that. I’d rather he was alive and well even if I never got to see him again”  
Trevor looked at the battered thug. And suddenly he realised he was seeing Mickey as Ian had always seen him. As a frightened lonely soul who had finally found someone who didn’t want to hurt him, who wasn’t afraid of him and who thought he was just perfect. And Trevor saw that Mickey would do anything to keep Ian safe.  
“Christ, Mickey.” Trevor looked at Mickey’s face.  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Ok actually. It kinda feels freeing to finally tell someone.”  
“That’s sort of the plan.”  
Mickey rubbed a hand over his face and made a face when the bruises made themselves known.  
“Why don’t you want Ian to know what happened to you?”  
“Because he’s likely to try and kill me dad”  
Trevor nodded. He could see that.  
“Ian’s coming next week. You’ll have to tell him something.”  
“I know. I’ll think of something.”  
“But If its OK I’ll come the week after?”  
Mickey was silent, and then nodded.  
“Ok. Thanks, Trevor.”  
As Trevor stood up, Mickey put his hand out. ”Keep an eye on Ian. Please.”  
“I will. I promise.”


	2. Session 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey’s second session, where he talks about Ian’s bipolar disorder.

“So”, started Trevor. “What’s it like, loving someone who has bipolar?”  
Mickey thought about this.  
His face was healing, Trevor noticed. Mickey was starting to look like himself again.  
”It has its ups and downs.”  
“There are ups?”  
“Oh definitely”, his eyebrow raised suggestively, Mickey was smirking as he remembered the nights of endless sex and long frequent blow jobs.  
Trevor was suddenly reminded of being seduced on a rooftop and again in his office. He blushed. Mickey noticed.  
“You too huh?”  
“I thought it was me being irresistible!” Trevor said somewhat shamefacedly.  
“Yeah. Too bad.” Mickey was smirking at him sarcastically.  
“Never mind. There are some ups I’ll grant you. But the downs?”  
“Don’t make the ups worthwhile.”  
“Do you want to tell me about the downs?”  
Trevor tried to keep his face neutral as Mickey told him about finding Ian working in the gay dance club and having to carry him back after he collapsed in the snow.  
“You waited all night for him?”  
“Yeah I could tell he was still mad at me but he was drugged up to the eyeballs and completely out of it, so I couldn’t leave him there.”  
“What’s did you do?”  
“I carried him to my house. Watched him all night. Svet wasn’t best impressed, but I didn’t care. I just wanted Ian to be all right”  
Mickey rubbed his face, a sign he was feeling a bit emotional. Trevor tried to move the conversation on,  
“Is it harder to deal with the mania or the depression?” wondered Trevor.  
“The depression is awful cos there’s fuck all you can do but wait it out and make sure he can’t hurt himself. The mania is worse though.”  
“How so?”  
“The paranoia, the hypersexuality, the rage, the lack of control. He’s unpredictable.”  
“Unpredictable?”  
Trevor tried not to look shocked when Mickey described finding out Ian had made a porn film, bareback. But when Mickey told him about Ian taking his son for a drive and getting arrested, Trevor had to react.  
“Bloody hell”  
“Yeah. That’s how I knew Ian was in real trouble and he needed help.”  
“But you got him help.”  
Mickey looked down at his hands.  
“He had to be hospitalised. It was awful. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how awful it was for him.”  
“And you.”  
“Whatever.”  
“Sounds like he needed the help”  
“I should have been able to help him”  
“That’s not how it works, Mickey” Trevor’s voice was gentle. “You couldn't fix this”  
“That’s what Ian said when he broke up with me. Just before I was arrested for trying to deal with Sammi.”  
“What did he say?”  
“‘You can’t fix me because I’m not broken.’ He didn’t want to take the meds. His fucking mother had filled his head with all sorts of crap.”  
“Ian broke up with you?”  
“Yeah, didn’t you know? Broke my fucking heart. That’s when I knew though.”  
“Knew what?”  
“That I really would do anything for that lanky carrot top.”  
“I think you’d already shown that.”  
“Maybe but I had his name tattooed over my heart in prison.”  
“The fuck!”  
“Hey I was in love and heartbroken. Anyway bastard spelled it wrong.“ Mickey sighed. “Ian’s never let me live it down.”  
“How did Ian get to your son? Didn’t his mother do anything?”  
“Svetlana had to go back to work.”  
“Wait, she was still a prostitute?”  
“Yeah.”  
Trevor shook his head trying to assimilate all this information. By his calculation, Mickey’s mind should have broken years ago.  
“So you were looking after your son?”  
“Yev.”  
“What?”  
“His name is Yev. It’s a Russian name. Svet chose it. I really didn’t care. That baby was just a reminder of what had happened.”  
“I can understand that.”  
“Ian loved him though.”  
“Ian?” Trevor’s voice rose 2 octaves.  
“Ian was there too?”  
“Yeah. I had come out at Yev’s christening. Caused a huge fight, but it meant my dad had broken parole and been carted back off to prison. And Svetlana had nothing on me any more.”  
Trevor needed to go back.  
“Hang on hang on. You came out at your sons christening? What the hell did you do that for?”  
Mickey looked at Trevor like he was an idiot. “For Ian.”  
“What?”  
Mickey thought back.  
“Svet was threatening to tell my dad about me and Ian. Dad was getting out of prison on the same day Yev was christened so it was a ‘double’ celebration.”  
“OK that must have been hard.”  
“Yeah, Ian was pissed at me cos we weren’t ‘out’ as a couple. He insisted on coming to the christening and wound up Svet even more.”  
“I can kinda see her point.”  
“Yeah it wasn’t a great time for her either. Anyway Ian threatened to leave. To leave me. So what could I do?”  
“So, I just want to be clear. Ian gave you an ultimatum at your son’s christening to force you to come out. In front of your wife and your homophobic father?”  
“Yeah pretty much.”  
Trevor had to take a moment. He had never been so angry with Ian before this minute. And he’d never be able to tell him. Did he want all this? Then he looked at Mickey’s bruised face. If he could work somewhere so he could stop this happening to anyone else, then it would be worth it.  
“OK. So your dad was re arrested?”  
“Yeah. I would have been too, but the cop turned out to be gay and knew what we were fighting about. He let me go. Best night of my life.”  
“Best night? How d’you figure that?”  
“Ian and I went back to my house, as a couple. We got to sleep in a bed together, just us and I got to wake up with him. But then the very next day it all went wrong.”  
“How so?”  
“Ian had his first major depressive episode. And that was the worst day. Finding out what was wrong with Ian. Listening to Fiona explain what it could be like. Talking about hospitalisation.  
"Then just as suddenly he came out of it and started helping look after Yev. We were a happy family for a little while.”  
“The three of you?”  
“Four. Svetlana moved her girlfriend in too”  
Trevor shook his head again.  
“But then he went from fine to manic and there was the paranoia, the sex, the porno and finally Yev. Right up until then, I still thought I could handle it. I was wrong. “  
“But you stuck with him through it all?”  
“Yeah. Well, not straight away.”  
“Oh?”  
“I was shit scared. After visiting Ian in hospital and seeing him like that. I wasn’t strong enough to be there for him. I couldn’t do it.”  
“What changed”  
“I had been drinking all day, the day Ian came home. Trying to blot it all out. Ian’s little sister came round. Debbie.”  
“Yeah I’ve met her”  
“She was gabbling something about Ian flushing his meds down the toilet. Wanted us to try and replace them.”  
“I wouldn’t have though anti psychotics were a popular recreational drug “  
“No, exactly. But then she turned off my music and gave me a fuckin’ talking to. “  
“Debbie?”  
Mickey laughed.  
“Yeah little redhead told me what it was like growing up with a bipolar mum. Watching her dad try and deal. How boozing didn’t help. She made me think about what Ian needed. “  
“And that was?”  
He shrugged. “Me. I stayed with him but I needed him to take the medication.”  
“And he didn’t want to?”  
“No. He said they made him feel fuzzy and numb. I think he’s got better ones now. He is taking them right?”  
“He says he is.”  
“And Ian’s OK?”  
“I saw him yesterday. He’s fine. Working hard. Saving and all that!”  
“Ok good. That’s what it’s like. Loving someone with bipolar. You’re always watching. Always waiting.”  
“Sounds like hard work”  
“It is.”  
“Is it worth it?”  
“Ian is worth it.”  
Trevor nodded.  
“You look after Ian a lot.”  
“I love him. “  
“I can see that. And he loves you. “  
“He sees more than anyone else. “  
“What does that mean”  
“Most people see the tattoos and the hand-me-down clothes. The attitude and the wreck of a house, and walk, no run past. Ian thinks I’m more than that. He makes me want to be a better man. He made me believe that I don’t have to end up like my dad or my brothers. And he makes me laugh. He’s the first person who I could just be with, you know? I can just be me. “  
“That’s definitely worth fighting for. “  
“Yeah.”


	3. Session 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Trevor finds out why it’s so hard for Mickey to have hope.

As soon as Trevor spotted Mickey, he knew something was different. The way Mickey was looking at him, scanning him as he sat down. Trevor had seen that look before. Mickey knew.  
“Go on then.”  
“What?”  
“Ask what you want to ask.”  
“You’re a girl huh?”  
“No. I’m transgender. I’m a man. My body didn’t fit was all.”  
Mickey took it surprisingly well, Trevor thought.  
“Huh.” was all he said.  
Trevor looked at him carefully.  
“That all you want to say?”  
“Yeah I guess. Who am I to call anyone for anything, right?”  
“I have to admit I’m a bit surprised.”  
“Yeah. I’m fuckin’ growing aren’t I?”  
Trevor laughed.  
“Positively evolving. You're taking it better than Ian did.”  
“Yeah well, he wanted to fuck you. OK I do have a question.”  
“Go on.”  
“What would happen to you if you went to prison?”  
Trevor nodded. Legitimate question.  
“Honestly? I’d probably get put in solitary. They don’t like transgenders. We make things complicated.“  
“Yeah I suppose you do.”  
Trevor sat silently for a few minutes to see if Mickey had any other questions.  
“Is Ian ok?”  
“Trevor smiled. Always Ian. “Yeah. He’s fine. He comes to see you, right?”  
Now it was Mickey’s turn to smile.  
“Yeah, every other week. Like clockwork.”  
“That’s impressive.”  
Mickey shrugged.  
“He feels guilty. For not visiting me when I was in prison before. When we were broken up.”  
“He wants to show you it’s different this time?”  
“I think so.”  
“You look more relaxed, Mickey. I take it there have been no more messages from your father?”  
“No. It’s weird, got a new cell mate a few days ago, big bloke, been here before. Loads of friends inside. His name’s Hernandez. We got chatting and he mentioned being in prison with ‘that gay Jesus redhead’ and how he’d changed his life. Couldn’t fucking believe it!”  
“That’s amazing!”  
“I know right? So I showed him the picture I got of me and Ian and suddenly he’s like my best mate. He’s in here for at least 5 years. I’m in for another year I reckon, so as long as I don’t piss him off I should be ok.”  
“That’s a big ‘if’ Mickey.”  
Mickey even laughed. “Yeah, I know.” The laughter tapered off.  
Trevor looked at Mickey  
“Is there anything you want to talk about particularly?”  
“Not particularly.”  
“Ok how’s your anger these days?”  
“Better than it was.”  
Short answers. So something was up.  
“What is it Mickey?”  
Mickey looked at him and then down at his knuckles.  
“How long can I really expect Ian to wait?”  
Trevor was taken aback by this. He looked at Mickey.  
“Where did that come from?”  
“When I was in Mexico, I thought about Ian every day. I missed him every day. He on the other hand....”  
“You’re an idiot you know that.”  
“I’ve beaten people up for less. Even if you are a girl.“  
“I’m not a girl. And you’re still an idiot.”  
Mickey’s eyebrows were tightly knitted. Trevor just stared at him impassively, arms folded. Eventually Mickey lowered his gaze.  
“Ian loves you. And he’s taking his meds. He doesn’t think about anything else apart from working to save money and when he’s gonna see you again.”  
“I suppose.”  
“Oh for fuck’s sake Mick.”  
Then Trevor stopped talking like a bloke and started thinking like a counsellor.  
“Now you’ve got protection, you’re not so worried about getting attacked by your dad’s friends right?”  
“Right.”  
“So is it possible that because of your past, you find it difficult to accept that things are going pretty good?”  
“Trevor, I’m in jail.”  
“I know. Aside from that, though, things are going OK.”  
Mickey shrugged.  
“Yeah. I guess.”  
“So why are you looking for things to worry about?”  
“Because nothing ever goes right for me, Trevor. That’s a given.”  
“I think you’ve paid your dues, Mick. You’re allowed a little happy.”  
Mickey rubbed his forehead and eyes.  
“I don’t know how to do that.”  
“Ok well we’ll take it one happy day at a time. Let’s look to the future. Have you thought about what you’ll do when you get out?”  
Mickey thought about this.  
“Not really. All I’ve ever done was scams, drugs etc. Apart from a short stint at the supermarket as security when Ian was there. I never got far in high school.”  
“No.” Trevor wasn’t that surprised.  
“After my mum died and dad was in prison, someone had to put food on the table. My brothers were all big and stupid. But my little sister needed to be looked after.”  
“Sister?”  
Mickey’s voice softened. “Mandy.” “She was Ian’s best friend. They were a pretend couple for a while, you know? It’s how I met him.”  
“How did that happen?”  
“Mandy’s childhood wasn’t happy. And after mum died it got a lot worse for her. With dad.”  
Trevor shuddered at the unspoken meaning.  
Mickey continued.  
“So with Ian she felt safe, you know?”  
“Makes sense.”  
“They pretended to be a couple, so she wouldn’t get hit on so much at school and he wouldn’t get beaten up. Ian was round at our house a lot.”  
“I see.”  
“You wanna know about our first time?”  
“No. Definitely not.”  
Mickey grinned. “Anyway I used to meet Ian in the market where he worked sometimes. His boss caught us, was jealous I think.“  
“Ian was having sex with his boss?”  
“Yeah. He was married with kids. Anyway the fucker shot me in the leg.”  
“Bloody hell!”  
“Ian wanted me to tell the police why, but I couldn’t. Dad would have found out. I couldn’t have anyone knowing I was a fag. So I went to juvie instead.”  
“Hold on wasn’t that where you worked security?”  
“Yeah, Ian got me the job. His boss had run off with another man leaving his wife pregnant and furious. She gave me the job.”  
“OK, so security.” Trevor tried to sound positive. “You’d make a decent bouncer. What else?”  
“I can fix things.”  
“What like problems?” Trevor was smiling.  
“No.” Mickey said patiently. “Like stuff. You know appliances. Toasters, washers, that sort of thing. I can fix em. And I’m good with numbers.”  
“Numbers? Like math?”  
“I suppose. I always did the books for dad and my brothers businesses.”  
“Book? Businesses?”  
“Yeah all drug dealers need solid books. Debts and stuff.”  
“Ok that’s a few things to be thinking about. I’ll have a chat with a few people, see what we can sort out.”  
“You’d do that for me?”  
“Yeah. I would.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I can, Mickey. Because maybe I think you deserve a break.”  
“Huh.”  
“You’re thinking about things going wrong again aren’t you?”  
“Maybe.”  
“You’re still an idiot.”  
“Fuck you. Trevor?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Thanks.”  
“You’re welcome”  
“And you’ll check in on Ian?”  
Trevor shook his head. Always Ian.  
“Yeah of course I will. But not tonight.”  
“Oh? You got a hot date?”  
Trevor blushed. “Actually. Yeah. Yeah I do”  
“Have fun” Mickey actually winked at him.


	4. Session 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Trevor finds out about what landed Mickey in prison.

Trevor was surprised to be shown into a private room when he next visited Beckman. He was about to ask Mickey what was going on when Mickey got in there first, asking about Ian straight away. Trevor paused for a moment.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Why should anything be wrong?”  
“Don't take me for an idiot, Trevor. Whilst you’ve been watching me, I’ve been watching you. And I’m fucking good at reading people. What the fuck is it?”  
Trevor sighed.  
“Fine. Ian hasn’t been feeling too good the last few days”  
Mickey slammed his hands on the table.  
“I fucking knew it! I told you! Nothing good ever fucking happens without being pissed on from a great height the next day!”  
“Calm down.” Trevor’s voice was steady. “He rang me and said he was feeling weird. I met up with him and his eyes were all glittery, know what I mean?”  
“Oh Christ.”  
“But... BUT, Mickey. He rang the clinic whilst I was there, took the rest of the week off work to make sure he took care of himself.”  
“He did all that?”  
“He did. He told me he had to look after himself, so he could take care of you.”  
“Fuckin’ Gallagher.”  
Mickey rubbed his eyes. Trevor was surprised to see teardrops on his hand.  
“So Mickey, What’s with the special treatment?” Trevor waved an arm around the room.  
“Oh that.” Mickey looked slightly uncomfortable. “I told the parole board I was having counselling and they said if I keep it up, and you agree to it, I could get outta here in 3 months?”  
Trevor smiled. He’d been wondering how to get Mickey to agree to “go public” with their deal. He wasn’t going to be able to put him down as experience otherwise.  
“Yeah. That sounds good.”  
Mickey’s answering smile was quite something. Trevor had never had the full force of a really happy Mickey before, and for a second he could see exactly how Ian had fallen in love with this man.  
“You all right Trevor?”  
Trevor collected himself. “Yeah, sure. Well seeing as we’re gonna work on getting you out of here, let’s talk about what put you in here. Sammi.”  
“That bitch.”  
“Yeah. Ok Lip kinda told me what happened. I want to hear your version though.”  
“What’s there to tell?” Mickey was dismissive. “That bitch tried to destroy Ian.”  
“Humour me.”  
Mickey sighed. “Ian had been really struggling with his meds. The idiot had burned his hand on a hot plate just trying to feel something. Anything”  
Trevor hissed as he took a sharp intake of breath. .  
“We’d gone to the bleachers. Ian was being a total ass. He hit me”  
“He hit you?”  
“Yeah. He was trying to get a rise. Eventually he got one.”  
“You had a fight.”  
“Yeah. But after...” Mickey raised his eyebrows and smirked.  
“For fuck’s sake.”  
“Anyway we went home and Sammi was being even more weird than usual. Ian was all excited because we’d planned to go on a date. I was too, to be honest. Then suddenly she called these soldiers out from the shadows and they went to grab Ian.”  
“Holy shit!”  
“Yeah. We tried to fight them off but they pulled their weapons. They took Ian away. Fiona turned up and we were both shouting and chasing the van but they wouldn’t listen.”  
“Wow.”  
“They didn't take his meds of course. And we didn’t know when we’d see him again. It was days. And it was all Sammi’s fault.”  
“So you planned to kill her.”  
“No. We just wanted her to be incapacitated, so we could make her agree to leave and never ever come back. But it went wrong and we thought we’d killed her.”  
“Why didn’t you just call an ambulance. An accidental overdose would have been believable.”  
“We panicked.”  
“We?”  
“Still confidential, right?”  
“Yeah more so than ever.”  
“Debbie was in it with me.”  
“That was never mentioned.”  
Mickey looked serious. “I’m no snitch, Trevor. And that’s Ian’s sister. Besides I owed her remember?”  
“I remember” Trevor was smiling.  
“Stop it.”  
“What.”  
“Looking at me like I did something nice.”  
“You did.”  
“Shut up.”  
”Shutting up. So this was all about Ian.”  
“It’s always about Ian.”  
“I starting to see that. So why did you break out?”  
“Ian had broken up with me. He’d stopped visiting. Svetlana came a few times but then she stopped too. She came one last time to get me to sign divorce papers.”  
“Oh wow.”  
“Yeah she was shacking up with Kev and V?”  
“OK so I’m guessing things weren’t so great.”  
“No they were pretty shit, and then my cellmate comes to me with this idea about getting out and going to Mexico.”  
“Yeah. You made the news.”  
Mickey laughed.  
“Yeah. But I couldn’t leave without seeing Ian, one last time.”  
“I remember.”  
“Yeah. But when I saw him.” Mickey rubbed his face. “When I saw him, it was like seeing the sun after living in the dark.”  
“Poetic.”  
“Fuck you, man.”  
“Sorry, carry on.”  
“I wanted him to come with me. I really wanted him to come with me.”  
“He nearly did.”  
“Yeah but he didn’t, did he? He left me at the border. “ Mickey sounded wounded. Then he shook himself and continued.  
“But looking back, that was right. I didn’t have an easy start in Mexico.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. Had to get back in the closet big time for a start, and it took a while to find any way to make money. Eventually, I got in with a local cartel, selling dugs.”  
“You were dealing?”  
“Yeah. That’s how I found out about Ian.”  
“Oh?”  
“These kids came over looking for Es. One of them had Ian’s face on a fuckin’ T-shirt!”  
“Oh yeah, I remember the T-shirt’s.”  
”Yeah. Told me about this Chicago lad who was going down for preaching gay love. So that evening I googled it. Watched the videos on YouTube. And I knew.”  
“Knew?”  
“Knew he was off his meds. Knew he was in trouble.”  
“And then?”  
“I had to move quickly. I couldn’t let Ian be alone in prison!”  
“So you...”  
“I’d been gathering info on the cartel, as insurance, you know. So the next day I drove to the police station and turned myself in. And I bargained the info I had to be locked up with Ian. Being his cellmate, well that was dumb luck... or good timing.”  
“That’s some story.”  
“Yeah. One Ian doesn’t need to know, remember?” Mickeys face was determined.  
“Someone already told him some of it.”  
“Yeah, you said.”  
Trevor smiled.  
“I guess that brings us up to date.”  
“Yeah I suppose it does. So how was your date?”  
“Just fine, thanks”  
Mickey laughed. “Ok. I’ll leave it. For now.”  
“I would. Right, I’d better go tell the powers that be that I’m your official counsellor.”  
“I think you need to hand in your credentials at the front desk?”  
“Ok. Well, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks, Mickey.”  
“Yeah see you Trevor.”


	5. Session 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some news changes everything

Trevor started their next session with, “Ian’s doing well. He came to see you last week, right?”  
Mickey smiled. Yes, Ian hadn’t missed a single visit. Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they just sat holding hands across the table, gazing into each others eyes. It was extraordinarily intimate, but Mickey was too happy to just be with him to worry even a little about who might see. Besides, Hernandez liked having Mickey around. He was smarter than Hernandez’s usual crew, so he was given quite a bit of leeway in the gayness.  
Mickey’s voice was soft, softer than Trevor had heard before “Yeah. Ian came.”  
“Cool. Mickey, I have some news.”  
“Oh?”  
Trevor swallowed heavily. He wasn’t sure how to phrase this. Then he realised he just had to come out and say it.  
“Your dad.” He started.  
“Yeah?” Mickeys voice was suddenly on edge. Trevor could practically hear his heart rate quicken.  
“He got attacked in prison a few days ago.”  
“Oh?”  
“Um Tony Markovich went round to the house to tell the family.” Trevor wondered if his voice sounded as strained to Mickey as it did to him.  
“Tony? The cop?”  
“Right. Well anyway your dad..”  
“Terry.”  
“Yeah Terry. He was stabbed.”  
“Oh.”  
“Mickey, he didn’t survive.”  
“Say it again?”  
“Terry’s dead.”  
“You’re sure?”  
“I’m sure.”  
“He’s really dead?”  
“Yeah. Really dead.”  
Mickey’s body slumped down onto the table. It was as if all Mickey’s years of living on a knife edge around his father had collapsed in on themselves and released him. Trevor suddenly remembered Ian once telling him that if ever Mickey was woken up, he always woke up ready to defend himself against blows. Trevor wondered if he would now be able to relax.  
“Mickey?”  
Mickey looked up at Trevor, unshed tears in his eyes. “The bastard is finally gone.” He breathed. “Ian’s safe. He’s safe from Terry.”  
Trevor sat quietly. Mickey’s breathing slowly returned to normal. He pushed his hand through his hair.  
“Can’t believe it.”  
“It’s true though”  
“I wish I know where Mandy was. She deserves to be free too.”  
“Oh! I almost forgot. Mandy! Ian is trying to find her.”  
“That’s good. I hope he can.”  
Silence.  
“You OK Mickey?”  
Mickey swallowed. “Yeah. I mean it was bound to happen sooner or later, right?”  
“Right.” Trevor’s voice was gentle.  
“And you know, we've never been much of a family. Except for me and Mandy maybe.”  
“What about your son?”  
“Yev? Signed away any parental rights when Svetlana and I got divorced.”  
“You did? Why?”  
Mickey sighed. “Because it wasn’t fair on him. Whenever I looked at him, all I could see is Terry and a gun trained on Ian. I didn’t know if I could ever get past that. He deserved better. Better than me for a dad.”  
“But you are his dad.”  
“No I’m his father. Ian was more his dad than I ever was.”  
Trevor looked at the young man with a new respect and sadness.  
“I understand Svetlana has moved away.“  
“Yeah. Ian said she’d found a rich husband. I hope she’s happy.”  
“You do?”  
“Yeah. She did what she had to do to survive. None of it was her choosing either. I can’t hate her for that.”  
“Wow”  
“Look the only person to blame is dead now so what’s the point? Ian and I have the rest of our lives and finally we can be together.”  
Trevor made a mental note to mention Mickey’s new acceptance of things to the parole guys.  
“Yeah. Listen I have a meeting with your parole board after this.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. I’m not sure what it’s about. I really hope it’s to release you early on compassionate grounds.”  
“Compassionate grounds?”  
“Yeah. Your dad just died.”  
Mickey laughed. “So the man who wanted to keep me and Ian apart might end up bringing us together sooner?”  
“I hope so. Can’t promise though.”  
Mickey looked Trevor in the eyes. “I know, Trevor. I’m not used to things going my way remember? But...”  
“But...?”  
Mickey’s face broke into that amazing smile again. “But when I do get out, I’m gonna ask Ian to marry me.”  
Trevor tried to hide his grin. He’d had the very same conversation with Ian a couple of days ago.  
“When Mickey gets out, I’m gonna propose. I want us to be married. I want to show him my commitment” he’d said.  
Trevor kinda wished he could be there for the race.  
All he said was “Sounds like a plan.”


	6. Session 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey’s first session after his release.

Janice pulled up in the car park outside Beckman. She was early she knew. But it seemed she wasn’t the only one. A tall red head was leaning against his car smoking a cigarette. He was gorgeous. She wondered if he was here for a friend or his brother. Maybe his dad. She got out of her car and nodded to him. He smiled and said “Hi” softly. Then his green eyes returned to the gates.  
“Who are you here to pick up?”  
“My boyfriend.”  
Oh. Well he was a lucky guy that was for sure.  
“Me too.“ she replied with a shrug. He nodded and checked the time on his phone. Janice checked her watch. OK not long now.  
She busied herself playing a game on her phone, stealing frequent glances at the beautiful young man. His eyes never moved from the gates. And then they both heard the sirens as the gates opened. The red head suddenly stood up straight and ran a hand through his hair. Janice wished anyone would be this keen to see her. Her boyfriend, Chuck came out first. As usual he gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. Over his shoulder she saw a dark haired man walk out. As soon as he spotted the red head, his face lit up. Janice looked over and saw the redhead’s face break into a huge smile and start walking quickly towards him. The two met. Chuck was trying to get her to get into the car. But she had to see how it ended. Foreheads touching they stayed like that for a moment. Their hands moved to each other’s face and they kissed. And what a kiss. Janice could feel the emotion and the heat. Pfft that was two real men right there. Not afraid to show their feelings. She looked over at Chuck in resigned disappointment.  
“Janice. We need to go. The fuck is wrong with you?”  
“Nothin’” she unlocked the car and got in. She wound down her window to watch the pair walking back to the car hands entwined. She heard the dark haired man ask “How are you doing?”  
The redhead smiled. “I’m fine, Mickey. How long you planning on asking me that?”  
He shrugged. “The rest of our lives.”  


******

This was their first session in Trevor’s new counselling room, within the parole offices Of Southside Chicago. It was a condition of Mickey’s parole that he continue with his fortnightly visits to Trevor, and he wasn’t planning on missing a single one. Mickey was determined to do everything by the book. Trevor hadn’t seen him since his release. Mickey looked relaxed and happy. He was wearing a black ring on the 4th finger of his left hand. Trevor nodded to it.  
“Who got there first?”  
“You knew we were both planning didn’t you?”  
“Maybe” Trevor smirked.  
“Ian had the ring ready.”  
“So he was the proposer?”  
“Kinda”  
Trevor knew that was all he was going to get. “Well congratulations. Sit.”  
“Thanks.”  
“How’ve you been?”  
Mickey smiled and pushed his fingers through his hair. “Just fine Trevor.” He said softly.  
“Where are you living?  
“At the Gallagher house. Lip’s moved in with his girlfriend and kid, and Carl’s back at school. So it’s Ian, Debbie, Frannie and Liam and me at the moment.”  
“Have you been back to the house.”  
“Don’t have a house.”  
“Your family home?”  
“Gone. We never owned it and once dad was gone my brothers were evicted. I only know where Iggy is now." Mickey shrugged. "Ian got most of my shit for me.”  
“Oh wow!”  
“But he made me go through it all and throw all the crap away.”  
“How was that?”  
“Hard to start with but it felt really good once it was done.” Mickey shrugged again with a gentle smile on his face.  
“That’s good.”  
“And thank you for speaking to Kev. I got the job!”  
“Fantastic. I didn’t really do anything.” That was mostly true. Kevin had been lamenting the Alibi patrons’ behaviour especially on ladies nights. When Trevor suggested a bouncer, Kev had said they were the worst of all for harassing women. Trevor had then suggested Mickey. Kev could definitely see the benefits of having a thuggish, south side, gay bouncer and said he would speak to Mickey when he got out.  
“When d’you start?”  
“Next week. Ian’s taken the week off to um settle us in” Mickey smiled and even blushed. Trevor also blushed at the thought of what that might mean.  
“Great. And you’re getting on OK”  
“Yeah.” 

******

Without the constant fear of Terry and the meds side effects, the two were able to solidify their relationship. The first day Debbie had taken Frannie and Liam out for as long as she could, partly to give them privacy but mostly so she didn’t have to listen to their ecstatic moaning. The next day she gave anyone who entered the house headphones. Ian and Mickey didn’t come out of their room for 48 hours, except to use the bathroom and forage for food.  
They finally got out of bed and even showered and got dressed, albeit briefly it turned out. They had gone to the bleachers - both of them feeling it was ‘their’ place. They had shotgunned a beer and were kissing when Ian suddenly broke away, wanting to ask ‘the question’. Mickey soon realised what he was up to and covered his mouth with kisses until Ian gave up for laughing. He gave Mickey a shove.  
“For fucks sake, Mickey! I’m trying to ask you to marry me!”  
Mickey thumbed the corner of his mouth.  
“I fuckin’ know that. I’m trying to stop you so that I can ask you!”  
Ian’s eyes softened. Then he gave a mischievous smile.  
“Got a ring?”  
“Of course I don’t have a fuckin ring., Gallagher. We haven’t been apart for more than 10 minutes since I got out!”  
Ian pulled the black ring out of his pocket triumphantly.  
“Then I get to ask you.”  
Mickey smiled at Ian’s happiness.  
“You got another one of those?”  
Ian went back in his pocket. “Of course.”  
When he brought his hand out there were two rings there.  
“Ask me then.”  
Ian smiled and went down on one knee. “Mikhailo Aleksandr Milkovich ” He said solemnly. “Will you marry me?”  
Mickey pulled Ian up to him and kissed him seriously. Ian kissed all along Mickey’s neck breathing in his intoxicating scent, to his ear where he whispered “Is that a yes then?”  
Mickey's answering smile lit up the whole dugout. He held out his left hand. Ian placed the ring on his finger. Then Mickey took the other ring and said hoarsely  
“Ian Clayton Gallagher, will you marry me?”  
Ian let Mickey put the ring onto his finger with a “Yeah. I’ll marry you.”  
The two kissed passionately, fingers pulling at clothing. Minutes later the engaged couple were up against the fence, hands entwined showing the two rings. 

******

“That’s great Mickey.“ Trevor’s voice brought Mickey our of his reverie.  
“He’s coming to pick me up if you wanna say hi. We’re going on our first date.”  
“First date?”  
“Yeah the one we should have gone on before prison!”  
“Going on your first date after you’re engaged?”  
“We’ve never done anything in the right order. “ laughed Mickey. “You gonna come down?”  
“I’ll walk you down” Trevor was delighted.  
As they walked, Mickey was talking.  
“We’re getting hitched on Saturday. At the house? Kev got himself ordained. We’d like you to come if you’re free.“  
Trevor smiled an honest happy smile. “I’d love to. Would it be all right if I brought someone. “  
“The ‘fine’ date still going strong huh?”  
“Yeah. Um. You know him actually. “  
“Oh?” Mickey’s eyebrows knitted.  
“Yeah you mentioned him. Tony Markovich?”  
Mickey smiled nodding his head. “Tony?“ Actually that could work. “Yeah no worries.” he said. “Bring Tony. Saturday 2 pm”.  
“We’ll be there.” 

******

They left the building and Ian was there waiting. Trevor looked at him and smiled to himself. He looked so happy. Mickey went straight to him as if they’d been apart for days rather than an hour or so. Trevor watched them touch foreheads, a gesture he knew was special to them. He thought he’d never seen Ian look so relaxed and content. Much like Trevor looked when a certain blond police officer showed up unexpectedly with flowers. Trevor hugged Ian and wished them both congratulations. Ian asked if Trevor was coming to the wedding. Mickey replied that yes, Trevor and his boyfriend Tony Markovich (with emphasis on the Markovich) would both be there. Ian looked suitably surprised but happy. They both hugged Trevor again and walked off hand in hand. Trevor watched them go. His phone buzzed. Taking it out of his pocket he saw it was a text from Tony. Smiling, Trevor went back into his office. 


End file.
